hover the pictures, captions.
( Revolution's Facing mutiny )
So being fat has killed most of my life, I think. I'm not looking for anyone to go, "why didn't you lose any weight" or anything like that, because I don't feel like explaining all the crap I've gone through since 6th grade to try, and the fact that I've come to terms with my lack of will-power sometimes.
Anyways, It really sucks, cause I have the biggest feeling that my life is gonna be over when I hit 20. Okay, so I have two more years before I need to worry, but my time to dress up crazy is going to be over soon (yes, I know 20 year old somethings still do, thats not the point, I just feeel like this.). I feel like I wont have time to do anything I wanted. Simple and to the point, I guess , would be saying : I feel like I wasted the last 6 years of my life. I don't have any profound way to express myself, I couldn't dress how I wanted, I never learned anything cool, I'm doing bad in school - - I'm not sure my future goals are going to work out, I just feel like I fucked up big time. My "best" years to cosplay and not have to worry about paying for other stuff, wasted (well, It'd be nice if WHEN I ASKED SOMEONE WOULD HELP ME LEARN HOW TO SEW ;0;). It's just a big impending feeling of doom.
It makes me think of how I've always wanted to make a movie on teenage years. There's so much influence stressed on 15-18 that by the time I think I'd hit 20, it feels like, I have no more influence on the world, my opinion dosen't matter the world is for the young. Or something like that.
It's just a crappy feeling, you know?"
( it also dosen't help )
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amused
bored
tired
blah
sick
apathetic
touched
